Posts Tagged With: fun

Pfunday Pmonday

I have decided that I am going to go ahead and try the silent P thing and see how it works for me.  Amazingly, I was able to hold a few more stories in reserve to bring out a few more chuckles for the beginning of your week.  I will get to the humor in a minute, but I wanted to thank you all for voting for me this year in the Blog Madness.  I checked the vote tallies earlier this evening with no expectation that I would be close, but you know what; I clearly overestimated my chances.  The winner in my region had more than double my vote total and had nearly double the total of any other region’s leading vote getter as well.  Even if I combined my vote total with the total number of votes of the winner of any of the other three regions, I would still come in second in mine.  Maybe I will get a better draw next year.  In the meantime, I know how several other basketball teams feel after this weekend.

On that note, let’s get in some fun stuff.  I found this story while reading at the end of last week and I can’t stop laughing at the video.  Someone should perhaps clue our esteemed president in on the fact that other nations can see him on TV even when he isn’t meeting with their leaders.  The Danish press certainly got a kick out of the fact that he has lost any pretense of originality in his compliments to other nations.  This video clip is on the site with the story, but I will embed it here as well.  Either way, you simply have to watch this video.  If he keeps this up I may repost my parody song from a year or so ago.

A couple of MLB stories hit the scene last week that made me laugh as well.  First, is a case of mistaken identity.  I suppose it can be confusing when two pro ballplayers have the same name to be sure, but can it be that hard to get the right checks to the right place when they aren’t even in the same organization?  My only real question is if one of those other Jeff Musgrave guys that are out there (one of them is even a pastor) could accidentally send a little extra cash my way.  I would be willing to return it (although a reward would be nice).  Other big league players are costing themselves money all the time in other ways.  Injury-prone Job Chamberlain managed to hurt himself again, this time jumping on a trampoline with his son.  If he has this on video, he could pull the daily double and maybe win of America’s Funniest Home Videos as well as one of those gruesome sports injury highlight shows.

Last but not least for the new Pmonday version of Pfun stuff, I know you probably don’t read all the terms and conditions on every single piece of software and website; but I am also sure you have never bothered to count how many words there are in the crazy things.  Now I am no Shakespeare, and I am certainly no lawyer; but I am not surprised to find out who is the more verbose between the two.  Unfortunately, lawyers use a lot more words to say nothing at all, as proved by some intrepid researchers.  Paypal spends more words than the entirety of Macbeth and iTunes outdoes Hamlet for word count.  There are all kinds of jokes available for this.  But the best one I can think of is my opinion of lawyers and these T and C’s in general.  They are full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Categories: America, Culture, Fun, Humor, SBC Blog Madness | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday Is Just Made for Fun

This post should be a perfect mashup of all things funny, unusual and otherwise uncategorizable (new word that I know isn’t a real word, thank you very much spellchecker).  And when I say all things, I really only mean the collection of things I have assembled for this particular week.

First things first however, it is once again time for the SBC Blog Madness to make its appearance on literally dozens of computers around the world.  After narrowly missing advancement to the second round last year, I have renewed hope of advancing to the round of sixteen this year.  Mostly because they have removed all of the big-name SBC celebrity types in favor of guys like me with a handful of faithful readers and a plethora of occasional visitors who show up once and may never come back again.  And yes, I do know what plethora means.

Please take the time to go and vote for this blog.  You will find it near the bottom of the post as the first blog listed in the Golden Gate Regional.  At last check, I was sitting in second place in my region, with two other blogs just one vote back and the leader just a few votes ahead.  This year’s winner gets a place in the blog feed at the top of the main page at SBC Voices.  Thanks for your support.

Now on to the crazy story.  I am not sure that I would ever be willing to do something this insane, but I bet the view is awesome.  This guy is talking about breaking the sound barrier in free fall.  I remember reading all of the problems that the sound barrier caused for planes back in the WWII era (usually breaking it unintentionally and crashing) and after the war as they attempted to do it on purpose and crashed a lot too.  This might be fun, but it would be too dangerous for my blood.

I got a huge kick out of this letter that is apparently going viral.  It was written by a grade-school kid to a local weatherman who had come to speak at his school.  There is a bit about offering donuts served by unicorns that is pretty funny, but this part steals the show:

In full praise, Flint said Ramon was ‘more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out of bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars, while engulfed in flames’.

Flint added: ‘And in case you didn’t know that’s pretty dang sweet.’

The letter also includes a drawing on the reverse of a unicorn presenting an enthroned figure with the words ‘your doughnuts, Master’.

The story at the Daily Mail also includes the picture from the letter, and it is worth looking at too.  I think I am going to have to find a way to work in this totally awesome compliment at some point in my life.  I might have to modify it just a little bit.  How about this: you guys who keep coming back to read this blog are better than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made of duct tape riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber horn that keeps the donuts warm for you before he serves them to you with chocolate sauce to dip them in.  If you didn’t know it already, that is pretty high praise.

Seriously, thanks to all of you who come here to read the blog, whether it be frequent visitors or random read-by visitors.  To close us out, I just want to share with you a joke that my friend Eric told me on the phone a few days ago.  Unless I misunderstood him, it was made up by one of his boys.

Why does the toilet paper roll downhill?

To get to the bottom.

You can’t get comedy like that just anywhere.  Enjoy your Friday and have a restful Sabbath.

Categories: Culture, friends, Fun, Humor, personal, SBC Blog Madness, Southern Baptist, Thanksgiving | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tebow 316

I have noticed that a lot of people are spending a lot of time on the Tebow phenomenon.  Both sides, those who love it and those who hate it, are constantly throwing more wood into the fires and passions are running high.  I have no desire to add more fuel or to consume a lot of time talking about it, but I just wanna say a few things.  This will be a short post.

  1. Don’t get mad about the so-called “Tebowing” as a reference to prayer.  So what, big deal.  I doubt that God is getting all worked up over someone bowing their knee and not calling it by the right word.  Someday every knee is gonna bow anyway, it just looks like some are getting in some early practice.  My advice: stop getting offended over minor things.  It will save you a lot of ulcers and stress.  Besides, for those who are doing the whole thing in a mocking fashion, there are bigger problems for them (Galatians 6:7).
  2. Don’t read too much into things like Tebow’s stat line from a big improbable win.  By all means, have a little fun with it if you want, but don’t start looking for signs in a box score or stat sheet.  God has communicated pretty effectively without resorting to Tebow’s QB stats or passing yards.  But there is no harm in being amused or even thankful that so many people are checking out John 3:16 yet again thanks to Timmy.  Since no one is holding up those cute banners at games anymore that I have seen, this is the next best thing. 
  3. It’s OK to pull for Tebow.  I enjoy watching someone do what no one says can be done.  Mark Gungor has jokingly said that he should be the “patron saint” of marriage because he just never gives up.  I kind of like that.  It is fun to root for a guy who just won’t quit trying.  I think we can all relate to that a little bit.  I am not a Broncos fan.  I never really liked them at all.  But more and more, I think it would be fun to see them win the Super Bowl this year just because it would make a lot of people’s heads virtually explode at the incongruity of it all.  Besides, my Cowboys (whom everybody knows is America’s team even if God is currently smiting them) are out of it anyway so who else would I root for at this point.

There it is.  In typical pastor fashion, I have given you three points; now for the poem.

Roses are red

Broncos wear blue

Tebow wins games

What will you do?

P.S. This blog was intended as light humor.  If you are offended by this post then you have utterly missed the point.  Try rereading point number one again.  Rinse, read, repeat as often as necessary.

Categories: America, blogging, Christianity, Culture, Football, Fun, Humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Funny Stuff for Your Friday

Another Friday and a chance to kick around some of the funnier things that have crossed my path online during the week.  There is so many bizarre things out there and so little time to find them all.  Here we go again.

In the spirit of true frivolity, I offer you a Klingon translation of the Gospel of Mark as done from the Greek text.

29 chaHvaD ghelmeH jatlh:

‘Iv jIH, ‘e’ bomaq?

jangtaHvIS pe’tlhoS, ghaHvaD jatlh:

‘IHrIStoS SoH.

– Mark 8:29

Which, when translated says (never do tongues without a translation ya know), And he asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Christ.”  Now even Klingons can acknowledge that Jesus is Lord.

In the category of I still can’t stop laughing, I get a huge kick out of these Things Your Lutheran Pastor Totally Loves videos that our local ELCA Lutheran pastor has been posting on Facebook from time to time.  This one is about anonymous complaints.  It isn’t just a Lutheran thing.

And a bonus clip for Steve, if he happens to stop by and any others who can relate.

My sister brought another clip to my attention this week.  This is for anyone who has ever participated in a prayer circle.  I can identify with several of these from personal experiences.

I have a couple of more funny things to shoot your way today, but I am going to go ahead and put them in a post here in a few hours.

Categories: Christianity, church, Fun, Gospel, Humor, ministry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One More Gag for the Day

I saw this video courtesy of the comment thread on one of our funny posts at SBC Voices today.  You should go and check out the full April 1 lineup of posts as many of them are quite funny and not all of them are inside jokes for SBC folks.

Anyway, here is a video promotion for Lutheran Airlines (I thought of you, Steve).  I had to put in up because they service North Dakota and all.  Enjoy and remember it is all in good fun.

Categories: adventures in the cold, Fun, Humor | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

Funny Friday is Here Again

Pastor Bob from our local ELCA congregation posted this on Facebook earlier in the week and it was so good that I had to share it.

I have dealt with these same kinds of calls from the same guys (judging by the statement in the credits).  I don’t mind someone calling me from time to time, but the guys from BlueFish are on my permanent ban list.  I won’t even consider reviewing their materials anymore just based on past experiences with pushy sales people.

Shifting gears to humor in politics, Obama finally accepted his award for “transparency” which is already loaded with irony and basically a joke; but he managed to make it even more of joke by accepting it in private behind closed doors. It was so unbelievable that one of my Facebook friends (and probably others) were questioning if this was some kind of early April Fools joke.  It isn’t; at least no more so that most of the rest of what passes for our obambulating presidency these days.  The only thing funnier about it was the White House statement:

“This president has demonstrated a commitment to transparency and openness that is greater than any administration has shown in the past, and he’s been committed to that since he ran for President and he’s taken a significant number of measures to demonstrate that,” Carney said on March 16. No word yet on what the White House will say now that the award has been given – behind closed doors.

So, laugh while you can, after all laughter is good for you, even if real foolishness is not.

Last but not least, for a little more levity in your day check out the lineup of posts over at SBC Voices for today.  Dave is out of the gate with a fantastic offer to start the day and I have a good feeling about the other posts in the lineup for later as well (warning lots of inside SBC type humor will be on tap).

Categories: America, Atheists, Christianity, church, Culture, friends, Fun, Humor, Southern Baptist, Thanksgiving | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Kidneys Were Right All Along

Every once in a while, I see one of those helpful bits of health advice about drinking a lot of water.  I even tried it once as part of a health challenge at work a few years ago, because I didn’t want to hurt my team.  Turns out that the “water quota” is a misunderstanding.

I guess I would have known this before, if I had cared enough to check it out.  I should have too, because I never liked trying to drink all of that water.  I know that drinking some water is good for you, but those crazy deals like 64 ounces a day or take your body weight in lbs. and drink half of that number in ounces of water (200 lb person drinks 100 oz. of water you see), are just not right.

If you want to spend the better part of your day running to the WC (a little British lingo there), then go right ahead (really bad pun I know).  Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

All things in moderation after all, and that includes water.

Categories: Fun, Health, Humor, personal, Science | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Elementary, My Dear Watson

In other funny news for the week, there is a “scientific” study that has concluded that religion will go extinct in as many as 9 countries.  There is a much more biting critique of this study available at Vox’s blog, but I wanted to throw in a couple of extra nuggets for fun.

First thing I noticed is that they patterned this “study” after one that was done on the death of languages a few years back.  I don’t know how you equate linguistics with religion in this manner.  If anything, religion is directly responsible for maintaining a knowledge of several “dead” languages in its own right.  Not the best concept that one might try to start with in any case.

While I am sure it didn’t enter into their equations, such as they may have been, while some religions have died over time, the Christian faith (and its ancestor Judaism) not only haven’t died out; they tend to get stronger and more resilient in the face of persecution and/or trials.  God maintains a remnant of His people.  I don’t see any of the countries listed in this study going complete irreligious at any time.  Vox posits that some of the countries are more likely to go Islamic before they abandon religion altogether (which might please some atheists), and he adds an additional amusing thought on why religion will not cease to be in any case:

The non-religious groups don’t provide their memberships with the same benefits as the religious groups, for the obvious reason that they are an intrinsically negative group, defined solely by what they are not. As atheists love to claim, none of them have anything in common with one another, except for the fact that they are uniformly smarter, more highly evolved, better educated, and morally superior on the basis of their non-belief. (Hey, I TOLD you they were irrational).

As for the study, I think Watson the Jeopardy computer stands a better chance of doing a good scientific study before these folks do; at least he has logic circuits capable of connecting relevant data for the problem at hand.  Maybe these folks should go and learn something from him.

Categories: Apologetics, Atheists, Christianity, church, Culture, Fun, Humor, Kingdom, Persecution, politics, Science, Truth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Fun Stuff for Friday

I have a couple of funny things to toss in for the weekend ahead.  You can be the judge of whether or not it is funny sad or haha funny.  I tend to have a dark sense of humor at times.

First is the amazing luminescence of our fellow citizens in the US.  Apparently it is a good thing that most are citizens by birth and not based on their knowledge of the country.  I say the original story, but this author manages to work in a joke about the 57 states and such, so it is pretty clever.  Speaking of 57 states, since he still can’t find his birth certificate and no one else knows where it is either, maybe we should have Obama take the test.

The next story isn’t quite as light although I challenge you to watch the video without watching.  Japan has produced a cartoon to help their kids understand the nuclear crisis.  I don’t think I have ever heard Chernobyl referred to as “diarrhea” before, but you will have to watch the video to get it.  Speaking of which, on the serious note, as you watch the video, I would also encourage you to pray for the people of Japan.  Not out of thankfulness for the benefits derived from “nuclear boy,” rather pray that the people of Japan would hear about Jesus and the God that made them and loves them.

Last but not least, thanks again to everyone who voted for me in the Blog Madness 2011 at SBC Voices.  I didn’t make it to the next round (Steve, you have to become a Lutheran now :)), but I had a lot of fun.  I ended up in sixth place in my region just shy of 50 votes total.

Categories: America, climate, Creation, Culture, friends, Fun, Humor, personal, politics, SBC Blog Madness, Southern Baptist | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m Ashamed to Be an American – A Parody

Update: I have now recorded a rough cut of the song for youtube.  Watch it at the bottom of the post.

So, I got a little annoyed reading the news tonight and a flash of inspiration hit me.  I decided to parody a song.  Not just any song, but that classic American standard by Lee Greenwood.  I am tempted to video it and throw it on YouTube, but I am holding back at the moment.  What do you think of it?  Should I record it and throw it further into cyberspace or should I trash it?  So, with apologies to Lee, here we go.

Chorus:

I’m ashamed to be an American, ’cause at one time we were free.

But we watched them take it all away as we stared at the TV

So, I guess I’ll throw up and so will you, when you see the news today

‘Cause we sure did get off track somewhere, I miss the USA

Verse 1:

If tomorrow all that we have lost,
Of the freedoms in our life.
Could be ours once again,
Would we find it worth the strife?

Or will we thank our lucky stars,
to be getting Federal pay?
‘Cause that’s costing us our freedom,
and they like it fine that way.

Chorus:

I’m ashamed to be an American, ’cause at one time we were free.

But we watched them take it all away as we stared at the TV

So, I guess I’ll throw up and so will you, when you see the news today

‘Cause we sure did get off track somewhere, I miss the USA

Verse 2:

Stolen elections in Minnesota,
A giant mess in New Orleans.
A few holdouts still in Texas,
But mostly bankrupt from sea to sea.

Detroit turned to a ghost town,
And DC owns Chevrolet
But if we want something left for our kids,
then its time we stand and say.

Chorus 2:

That we’re going to be real Americans, in the Constitution way

And we won’t forget what life was like, when DC was at bay

So, we’ll gladly get up and get involved, and make it start today

If it’s not too late let’s do our part, and save the USA.

Categories: Culture, Freedom, Fun, Humor, Music, personal, politics, Signs of the Times | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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